How Are You Theory

 

How Are You Theory

If someone asks you, ‘how are you?’, your response will be based on a number of factors.

a)      Your actual wellbeing

b)      Your current mood

c)      Relationship with the person who asked

d)      The language/communication/ media

e)      The unreal answer

 

A.      Your actual wellbeing

This is a combination of many factors considered over a longer period of time. It can include your physical, mental, economic, social and spiritual spheres. Your response will be in the negative if any one of these spheres is affected; for example, if you have a headache, you are unlikely to say,’ I am fine’. If you are stressed with a failed exam, if you are unemployed, if you are not appreciated in your apartment, if you feel let down by God, your response will also be meaning, ‘not so good’.

B.      Your current mood

Despite your actual good wellbeing in most of the spheres for long period of time, you may not still say, ‘I’m good’, if your current mood is not good. It could be an argument you just had with your friend few minutes ago which has forced you to say,’ I am not good’ or leave unanswered. It is temporary but can decide your answer.

C.     Relationship with the person who asked

Your answer also very much depends on the person who ask. If he/she is your friend, colleague, relative or someone known to you, you are likely to give an informal reply. If the question is from someone formally related or unrelated or unknown, your response is likely to be formal and brief, depending on the situation.

D.     The language/communication/ media

You cannot expect an answer if the question is not clear or not understood due to many reasons including the language barrier or communication barriers. It also depends on the medium of communication like verbal, non-verbal or face-to-face or via media platforms virtually.

E.      The unreal answer

This is influenced by one or more factors discussed above. The person does not say the reality. He/she gives an answer which is not real. A typical example is of a student replying to the teacher. ‘I’m not good’, with an ulterior motive of leaving the classroom. The real answer would be in the affirmative, had he been asked the same by his friend at the same moment.

Now, the terrific answer emerges within seconds, thanks to the remarkable ability of the human brain to assess and process all these factors.

If we rate the scores individually for each of the first four factors (fifth one is depended on others and the personality of the person answering), and then arrive at an average score, that would probably the response we can expect to get.

For example, let us assume the following  and rate the four factors A to D in a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is very bad and 10 is very good.

A – 6 ; B – 3 ; C – 7 ; D – 8

Then the average score is 24 by 4 that is 6. So, you can expect an answer like, ‘I am good’.

Remember, the answer need not be in words; it can be expressed non-verbally with a smile or a nod as well. No answer is also an option.

Brain takes a decision in microseconds and commands action!